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Today I'm reading poems.



IT'S OURS

there is always that space there
just before they get to us
that space
that fine relaxer
the breather
while say
flopping on a bed
thinking of nothing
or say
pouring a glass of water from the
spigot
while entranced by
nothing

that
gentle pure
space

it's worth

centuries of
existence

say

just to scratch your neck
while looking out the window at
a bare branch

that space
there
before they get to us
ensures
that
when they do
they won't
get it all

ever.

-Charles Bukowski-



TWO SONGS FOR HEDLI ANDERSON

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public
doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

-W.H Auden-
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jeeez. Too many cigarettes and sleepless nights. I've just come back from Scotland where I did a shoot the whole week. It was AMAZING living up on the mountains in a little hut, tho I was too scared of the ghosts at night to sleep properly.. You can't blame me, that hut really was a perfect scenery for a slash movie where everyone gets mutilated and no one will ever know...Eeeek. Luckily that didn't happen. I also missed my bird. Yes yes the grouse.
Looking back at this trip I have come to realise I really am quite talented, I somehow managed to read only two pages for my essay during this whole trip even though I was staying in the middle of no where with no internet or phone and was pretty much free everyday after 2pm and just sat in this hut, also it got dark after three so there really was nothing BUT time for reading type of activity. I guess the people were too nice not to socialise with, and the wine and the most amazing three course dinners every night. I even ate some sheep intestines, yummy! of course I only found out afterwards what the starter was made of and saved myself from the embarrassment of puking my guts out on the dinner table. Now I'm back at home, sitting in my room. STUDY WOMAN STUDY! Yes that I will do. I am documentary and documentary is me, well till next friday at least when I get rid of this essay... oooh wish me luck.
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I feel shit. I didn't sleep properly all night and woke up covered in cold sweat.
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I finally got myself a nice pair of tits. Yay! I carry them in my pocket and use them as pillows.
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was pretty hot.
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won't she come!

Current Mood: frustrated

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I suddenly started feeling really shit. Yes, I know its the hormones running madly around my body, but still. I am sick of being friends with people I have to be so fucking careful what to say to so that I don't accidentally offend them. Have some humour. GET A FUCKING LIFE. Its not my fault you haven't got one. It really isn't. Fuckers. One thing I don't get is people that are so rude to you and then can't take the same treatment back. ARGH! COWARDS. Now PISS OFF.

Current Mood: aggravated

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sucks.

Current Mood: cold

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Quite freaky. A lot of it is true. Nothing better than determining your personality with random tests from outer space.


the Adventurer

Thanks for taking the test !

you chose AX - your Enneagram type is SEVEN.


"I am happy and open to new things"



Adventurers are energetic, lively, and optimistic. They want to contribute
to the world.



How to Get Along with Me




  • Give me companionship, affection, and freedom.


  • Engage with me in stimulating conversation and laughter.


  • Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.


  • Don't try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.


  • Be responsible for youself. I dislike clingy or needy people.


  • Don't tell me what to do.



What I Like About Being a Seven




  • being optimistic and not letting life's troubles get me down


  • being spontaneous and free-spirited


  • being outspoken and outrageous. It's part of the fun.


  • being generous and trying to make the world a better place


  • having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures


  • having such varied interests and abilities



What's Hard About Being a Seven




  • not having enough time to do all the things I want


  • not completing things I start


  • not being able to profit from the benefits that come from specializing;
    not making a commitment to a career


  • having a tendency to be ungrounded; getting lost in plans or fantasies


  • feeling confined when I'm in a one-to-one relationship



Sevens as Children Often




  • are action oriented and adventuresome


  • drum up excitement


  • prefer being with other children to being alone


  • finesse their way around adults


  • dream of the freedom they'll have when they grow up



Sevens as Parents




  • are often enthusiastic and generous


  • want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life


  • may be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

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How annoying. It's strange how every move you make has a consequence. No matter how well thought or innocent. Nothing goes unnoticed. Everything belongs to everyone. And when people get it it turns into something very different. No one knows. I definitely don't. Why should I? That would just make things so bloody boring. I like chance and coincidence. I like randomness and not knowing. I like surprises. I like to think something new is ahead. ALWAYS. and that's my fall.

Current Mood: indifferent

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pinky
Name: pinky
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